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Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children by Allison Bottke
Finally…Hope for Parents in Pain What parent doesn’t want their children to grow up to be happy, responsible adults? Yet despite parents’ best efforts, most heartfelt prayers, and most loving environments, some kids never successfully make the transition to independently functioning adulthood. Following her own journey, Allison Bottke developed a tough-love approach to parenting adult children that helps both you and your child by focusing on setting you free from the repeated pain of your adult child’s broken promises, lies, and deception. Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children offers practical hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y.—a six–step program to help parents regain control in their homes and their lives. S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money A = Assemble a Support Group N = Nip Excuses in the Bud I = Implement Rules/Boundaries T = Trust Your Instincts Y = Yield Everything to God As you love your child with arms and heart wide open, know that no matter what happens you are never alone. God is in control and will be with you.
Setting Boundaries With Your Aging Parents by Allison Bottke
This important book from the author of Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children (more than 40,000 sold) will help adult children who long for a better relationship with their parents but feel trapped in a never-ending cycle of chaos, crisis, or drama. With keen insight and a passion to empower adult children, Allison charts a trustworthy roadmap through the often unfamiliar territory of setting boundaries with parents while maintaining personal balance and avoiding burnout. Through the use of professional advice, true stories, and scriptural truth, readers learn how to apply the “6 Steps to SANITY”: S-STOP your own negative behavior A-ASSEMBLE a support group N-NIP excuses in the bud I-IMPLEMENT rules and boundaries T-TRUST your instincts Y-YIELD everything to God Resources are available at the ministry website: www.settingboundaries.com
Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children Companion Study Guide by Allison Bottke
DO YOU HAVE AN ADULT CHILD WHO IS ALWAYS IN CRISIS? Parents and grandparents around the country are struggling emotionally, spiritually and financially-living in chaos from one crisis to another concerning the poor choices being made by their adult children. They want desperately to help their adult children, and yet their repeated attempts to come to the rescue have not brought the expected results. Well-meaning parental enabling has fostered a vicious cycle of insanity that has reached epidemic proportion with catastrophic consequences. With almost 200,000 books sold in the popular Setting Boundaries(r) series, countless parents around the world have found hope, healing and SANITY since the release of Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents by Allison Bottke. This critically acclaimed book is a recommended resource by Focus on the Family, and it has hit #1 on various Amazon.com lists several times. With deep compassion and empathy for parents in pain, Allison has developed a SANITY Support Group workbook for use with the book to help parents set healthy boundaries. Hundreds of participants worldwide have already successfully completed the 6-Steps to SANITY and 12-Weeks to Freedom support group program. Following the six-step SANITY acronym, group members explore the difference between helping and enabling, why we enable and why we must stop, the power of love and forgiveness, what to do when drug, alcohol or other addictions are a component, how to develop an effective plan of action, and other vital issues surrounding this timely topic. This empowering 12-week program is specifically for those struggling with adult children over the age of 18, who are ready to embark on a life-changing journey to find hope, healing and freedom. The workbook is designed for small groups of any size and also includes step-by-step guidance for Group Leaders. All material in the acclaimed Setting Boundaries(r) series is faith-based. Allison is clear that her perspective on the issue is that of a Christian parent in pain. However, she invites readers of all faiths to learn how to set the necessary boundaries needed to survive as a parent of an adult child whose life is always in some type of drama, chaos or crisis. * Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will launch a brand new beginning in your life. You may feel you are in a desert place right now as you struggle with a parenting crisis, but be alert! There's a stream in the wasteland-and you can begin making hope-filled choices that will forever change your future for the better. Carol Kent, Speaker and Author * I just got your book today on Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children and finished it in about four hours. My son is in jail right now. I realized I am an enabler and codependent from other books, but I found your book very enlightening as to what to do about it other than just being told to stop. I need a SANITY Support Group, I need help to implement the SANITY process. ML * I began a mother's group using Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, and it was wonderful! We all loved it! We all still have kids (18 & over), and we really needed the encouragement and help. SR * Your book was a hard read for an enabler-after being a really good parent of small children, less of a good parent of teenagers and not very good at all of adult children. I have my own issues that I have been working on for years. I am the director of a Christian Counseling Center, and I'm motivated to be a better parent of adult children and to help those who are seeking help as well. WC * Thank you so much for writing the book, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children. I bought it from a bookstore here in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada and I read it out loud word-for-word with my husband! We are Christian parents and could not put the book down because it related so much to what we are going through. Thanks & God bless yo
10 Days To A Less Defiant Child Second Edition by Jeffrey Bernstein
The popular, powerful guide to help parents regain control over a defiant child or teenager Occasional clashes between parents and children are not uncommon, but when defiant behavior-including tantrums, resistance to chores, and negativity-becomes chronic, it causes big problems within the family. In 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, family and child psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein shares a groundbreaking ten-day program to help parents understand their child's behavior and regain control of their household. In this updated edition, parents will learn how to face new challenges, including defiance resulting from excessive technology use (even to the point of addiction) and the stress of modern family life. Dr. Bernstein explains what causes defiance in kids and why it's so destructive to the family, then offers parents a step-by-step guide on how to reduce conflict and end upsetting behaviors.
How To Really Love Your Adult Child by Gary Chapman
More than 10 years after Parenting Your Adult Child was published, much has changed - including young adults themselves, as well as their parents. Economic upheavals, challenges to traditional values and beliefs, the phenomenon of over-involved "helicopter parenting" - all make relating to grown children more difficult than ever. Yet at the same time, being a parent of an adult child can bring great rewards. This revised and updated version of Dr. Gary Chapman's and Dr. Ross Campbell's message will help today's parents explore how to really love their adult child in today's changing world. The book includes brief sidebars from parents of adult children and adult children themselves with their own stories. An online study guide will also be available.
Liking The Child You Love by Jeffrey Bernstein
“I shouldn’t have to tell him that again!” “She is just so spoiled.” “They don’t appreciate anything I do for them.” Do you feel like you’re at the end of your rope? Are you exhausted by your kids arguing over every little thing? Finally there’s a name for your feelings: “Parent Frustration Syndrome” (PFS). No kid is perfect, but parents often don’t realize just how much their own thoughts, rather than their children’s behavior, contribute to being emotionally overwhelmed and discouraged. In Liking the Child You Love, Renowned psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein offers proven strategies for taming the 9 most common toxic thought patterns that stop us from parenting effectively: • The “Always or Never” Trap • Label Gluing • Seething Sarcasm • Smoldering Suspicions • Detrimental Denial • Emotional Overheating • Blame Blasting • “Should” Slamming • Dooming Conclusions As you identify and put a stop to PFS’s negative thought patterns, you’ll be amazed at how your kids’ defiant behavior quickly improves, without having to raise your voice or dole out harsh punishments. Soon you will have a closer, calmer, and more loving relationship with your kids—just by changing your own mindset.
How To Connect With Your Troubled Adult Children by Allison Bottke
What to Do When Parenting Gets Painfully Complicated Are your adult child’s mental, emotional, and physical health issues driving you to despair? Are you tempted to bail your son or daughter out of yet another impossible circumstance? When your child has reached (or long since passed) the point of independence, it’s difficult to know what your “help” as a parent should look like. From the author of bestseller Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children, Allison Bottke now offers an in-depth guide to help you connect with your troubled adult child, and to build your confidence, knowledge, and hope in challenging situations such as… drug addiction mental and emotional disabilities military trauma and PTSD personality disorders financial trouble depression and bipolar divorce incarceration …and so much more Whether you’re facing these problems for the first time or looking to learn more, take a step back and develop effective strategies to truly help your adult child—without sacrificing your sanity.
Doing Life With Your Adult Children by Jim Burns, Ph.D
If you have an adult child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when a child reaches the age of eighteen. In many ways, it gets more complicated. Both your heart and your head are as involved as ever, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. In Doing Life with Your Adult Children, parenting expert Jim Burns helps you navigate the toughest and the most rewarding parts of parenting your grown kids. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to questions such as these: Is it OK to give advice to my grown child? What's the difference between enabling and helping? What boundaries should I have if my child moves back home? What do I do when my child doesn't seem to be maturing into adulthood? How do I relate to my grown child's significant other? What does it mean to have healthy financial boundaries? How can I support my grown children when I don't support their values? Including positive principles on bringing kids back to faith, ideas on how to leave a legacy as a grandparent, and encouragement for every changing season, Doing Life with Your Adult Children is a unique book on your changing role in a calling that never ends.
When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us by Jane Adams
How do today's parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our twenty- and even thirty-somethings who can't seem to grow up? How can we help our depressed, dependent, or addicted adult children, the ones who can't get their lives started, who are just marking time or even doing it? What's the right strategy when our smart, capable "adultolescents" won't leave home or come boomeranging back? Who can we turn to when the kids aren't all right and we, their parents, are frightened, frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, and especially, disappointed? In this groundbreaking book, a social psychologist who's been chronicling the lives of American families for over two decades confronts our deepest concerns, including our silence and self-imposed sense of isolation, when our grown kids have failed to thrive. She listens to a generation that "did everything right" and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they haven't, at least, not yet -- and meanwhile, we're letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers or retirement, and other family relationships. With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming message to parents who are still trying to "fix" their adult children -- Stop! She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own. As we navigate this critical passage in our second adulthood and their first, the bestselling author of I'm Still Your Mother reminds us that the pleasures and possibilities of postparenthood should not depend on how our kids turn out, but on how we do!
One Minute Prayers For Your Adult Children by Allison Bottke
If you know the pain of parenting an adult child who has lost his or her way, you will also know that ultimately your best hope is in God's intervention. Allison Bottke offers prayers that give voice to the cries of your heart for your adult child's present and future.